Assignment, Set and VOLLEY!

I have decided that instead of being merely pumped for information by the a$$h01e$ at work, I am going to jump in the court and play with them.

I could go into the details (and will later), but suffice it to say that at this current place, beyond a few early... mistakes? shall we call them? no one has actually ever spoken TO me. Mostly, they have talked AT me, always with the intention of pumping me for information about what I am doing. (Seriously, VILLAGE of the DAMNED here.) This makes me sad really given I always struggled to speak to these people in their native language, speaking to them as people, not as some f)(&'%&$#"g assignment for work.

Yeah, I am pretty bitter about this. I'd like to throw a bunch of these uppity, self-centered a$$h01e$ into a totally foreign totally UNFRIENDLY environment where why could barely communicate and say, hey, knock yourself out, Honey.

Anywhoo, I just had the idea that if all they care about is pumping me for information, then that's just what they'll get. I am going to start responding to all poorly-veiled information-searches with some odd and confusing "answers"
After all, why should they have all the fun?

ASSIGNMENT!!

For practice....how would you answer this question?
Remember has to be believable yet leave one feeling a little, huh??

"What did you do this weekend?"

The more basic the question, the harder it is to come up with something off.

Consider that a nice version of what I usually get pried with:
Do you meet with anyone?
Do you meet with other foreigners?
Where do you go after work?
Where do you go on the weekend?
What time do you get home?
... o.0

Look forward to hearing from friends and visitors.
Will post the most promising responses!


Cheers! (^_-)-☆

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B1tch H1tler, again

Another conversation
Unwanted but overheard by the misfortune of being in the same room.
And did I mention she basically runs the Buddhist preschool/kindergarten (or in this case, military academy for short people)?

This was message delivered on behalf of nonpresent employee "A" by another of the staff, employee "B". Employee A had previously had a miscarriage. Traditionally there are specific times at which you go to pray for/to the soul of the miscarried child. Employee A apparently wished to take a day to go to that place and give offering, have rites said, etc.... Employee A was wondering why she was not being given permission to properly pray for her dead child.

B1tch H1tler didn't waste a second before delivering her proclamation to Employee B much the way she would sign a paper or write a check, "Time doesn't matter. It's the thought. She can go and pray and come back."

・・・

Not someone I would want influencing my offspring, but it is appropriately a Buddhist school and for the parents of those school children, 知らぬが仏 - The Buddha is unknowning, or in other words "Ignorance is Bliss".


Cheers! (^_-)-☆

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coming to a theater near YOU!

Well, not coming to a theater, but definitely coming to an ESL Blacklist in the near future.

And it's just the tip of the ice berg of what this place is like.

I was privy to a conversation tonight through the auspices of having my desk literally IN the VP's office.
Another teacher walked in to give notice of vacation plans during summer vacation. The conversation quickly degenerated and came to a screeching halt with
休みがあるというのは休みが取れるわけない。
Literally, Just because I said there was a vacation doesn't mean you can take vacation.
REALLY.
The foul she-beast then went on to EXPLAIN to the teacher how she had "interpreted" the original comments about the "vacation" time to "suit herself".
REALLY.

My desk faces the wall. I sat there until quitting time, making my little notes for tomorrow, quietly shuffling papers, but mostly ears up and listening. You could hear the confusion in this teacher's voice.
How could anyone not be confused?? I can't take vacation during vacation??
From my little corner, I imagined that the utter confusion was the only thing keeping her from bursting out into tears because that is surely what it sounded like.

Note here, there is nothing ambiguous about the Japanese word she used for vacation. The VP is just being an outright facist sadist twisting any normally accepted concept of vacation that everyone else in the country has to suit her own ends. As a result, this teacher will likely lose the money she spent on a very expensive airplane ticket in addition to having a working summer vacation and spring vacation AGAIN.

A working vacation? Isn't that just WORK?

I think someone at school needs to work on their own language skills.


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ESL: sentence game

This was recently going around with my friends on FB and it struck me immediately how this would be a great mini-game for the ESL classroom.

Focus: sentence construction, vocabulary, months, (ordinal) numbers

Practice: Use chart with sentences and have students read out loud using their own birthday.

Practice + α: Interviewing.
Students must ask each other, "When is your birthday?"
Student A responds with the date.
Student B uses the chart (with sentences) and writes down Student A's name and the corresponding sentence.

Practice + α, 1: Interviewing.
Students must ask each other, "When is your birthday?"
Student A responds with the sentence.
Student B uses the chart (with sentences) and writes down Student A's name and the corresponding date.

Practice + α, 2:
Provide the same chart with the sentence parts removed.
Students create their own sentence parts.
Follow up with interviewing or other.

Needless to say you must change the sentences on this original!!

That having been said, here is the chart:



Cheers! (^_-)-☆

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Why NOT to teach in Korea in 3 minutes.

BRILLIANT little film found by a former co-worker in Korea.

This really does the job of summing up the incredible instablity of life and work over there.
And yet they don't even go into the nightmare of classroom teaching!




If that doesn't warn you off enough or you are just feeling blessed (or lucky), at least remember to ALWAYS check blacklisted sites before accepting any job in Korea.


Cheers! (^_-)-☆
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Disinterested, Detached, and IN DENIAL

Three words to describe the administration's and (to a certain degree) native teachers' level of awareness in Pohang Jecheol High School.

I was informed today that like the other teachers, I would have to do some paperwork for my absence since "this process is what all teachers do when they are absent officially."

That's reasonable.

THIS is NOT:
"what you need to do is write 2 pages(A4) about what you were going to teach today for 1st graders."

I practically choked on laughter.
They are all still under the disillusion that there is any teaching going on??
Talk about naivety. Well, given their age, more like severe DENIAL.

I wrote back stating in no uncertain terms that although all my lesson plans are done a week in advance, I could barely fill one page much less two.

Newsflash!
Just because everyone sits up straight, listens attentively, and answers in unison while you are in the room, it is the height of ignorance to assume it would continue afterwards.
In a normal foreigner's classroom it is NON-STOP TALK.
It doesn't matter if I use the timer bomb or crank up the mike to ear-drum piercing range. No effect not counting their whining about how loud it is.
I wouldn't have to turn it up that loud if you would all SHUT THE F()%#) UP for 2 MINUTES for a few instructions!!
The logic of which is naturally, completely lost on them.

As a language class there should be talking. It is one of the four parts of language teaching/learning.
But the incessant talking in Korean classrooms is non-excusable and completely unworkable which is why any lesson 'plan' fills up at most 3 lines.

It is an attitude problem.
One at critical levels because I have been doing this for over 5 years now and I have NEVER had such mean, racist (mostly a boy-problem), rude students as the ones in this high school.

When I first came they tried to pass it off as "they aren't used to your style yet". First off, I have been doing this long enough to smell that was NOT the case. Secondly, even if they didn't want to believe me, a year later, NO CHANGE. And it is not just No Change, the new students coming in are the exact same way!

Then there is the other common 'excuse' for this behavior - the foreigner's class doesn't effect our grade so wth cares?
BUT the flaw to this argument here is that in Japan and Korea - NO GRADE MATTERS. All students advance to the next grade regardless of their previous work.

It's not style, not grades... That leaves us with the life-determining "college entrance exams."
English isn't on them so...

Oh, wait. Yes, it is.
Including a listening test.

But conversation isn't so again WTF cares?
...Except elite schools also include interviews in English.

And even if you weren't going to one of the highly-tauted elitest schools.we can still take out even this argument.
All you have to do is walk the halls during other classes.

English is useless?
NOT exactly...
You know what IS a useless class from a student's perspective?
Chinese. Japanese, Gym, S.E.W.I.N.G. class.

And yet if you walk past these classrooms, whether it be girls or boys, there is attentive silence while the teacher is talking. There is no one reading magazines, watching movies on their PMP, surreptitiously writing email on their cell phones.

The teacher does not have to spend 5+ minutes constantly asking for and not receiving attention.

Of course not.
That teacher is KOREAN and that is all that matters..
And that is what is boils down too - a severe attitude problem towards non-Korean teachers.

And specifically Korean.
I never had this crap in Japan which is why I can never answer their "which country do you like better?"

Gee, I don't know.
WTH do you think??


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tis the season - TOEFL

The biggest problem encountered in TESOL education overseas has been the new speaking part of the TOEFL. For once in the mostly passive educational environment of Asia, students are forced to not just speak, but THINK.
As in think about something other than the latest movie, cell phone app, or trashy, vacuous trend.

Materials to support such thinking activities (hence speaking) are notoriously lacking even in regards to sources in their native language.

In an effort to avoid spending more money for my own textbooks (my company - POSEF - can not apparently afford to purchase a few meager learning materials, much less text books for its students much less the teachers.), I searched and found some sample question sites online.

English Club : includes actual audio file samples and transcripts in case the audio files flunk out on you.

TOEFL HELPDESK : Nice lengthy list of speaking topics.

Internet TESL Journal : HUGE selection of questions arranged by category. Not necessarily TOEFL related.

English-Test.net : sub-forum concerning the TOEFL test. Nice wealth of material, but you need to search through to find speaking-related posts.


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a different kind of morning shower.

Since ancient times, chocolate has been tauted as an aphrodisiac.
But coffee....?



I'll just stick with chocolate, thank you.
(click on picture to read the English "To Use" instructions.)


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The casual comment

Things I've only been forced to say (repeatedly) in what passes for a 'classroom' in Korea.
*all delivered in the typically flat 'foreign teacher' tone of voice we all develop after 3 months.*


1) “OK, if we can't sit, we can stand. Stand.”
Sophomore boys class where several students were having trouble sitting in their seats without falling out.

2)“OK, if we shut up for 5 minutes we can watch one of the mini movies...”
Again, sophomore boys class.
Even the lure of mindless movie watching didn't keep them quiet for more than 10 seconds.

3)“Why are you sitting on the floor?”
Particularly rowdy sophomore girls class.
From personal experience I know that if you even walk across the floor one time in socks the bottoms will be black. I can't imagine why anyone would ever sit on it.

4)“Well, that's probably because you weren't listening.” *smilesmile*
Probably the most often repeated.
Said in response to the just as often repetitve- “Teacher, I don't understand.” I only ask for five minutes, maybe ten TOPS, to explain things. But seriously, they talk the WHOLE time from the time they enter to the time they leave.

5)“No killing, please.”
Whether it's punishment or play, both children and adults are very physical here.

6)“No food fights, please.”
Only in the boys classes naturally.
When it comes to someone eating snacks, you'd think they were never fed.

7)“Did you hit him back? You can hit him back. It's OK.”
I remember my mother telling the story of how she gave this bit of advice to Renee (or was it Diane) in elementary school after said child reported that some student had hit her. So that's my response to the occasional cry of “Teacher, he hit me!!”


From the other end, somewhat quirky things I've had said to me:

“Campus?”
Inevitably, if I take too long to tell them where I want to go, taxi drivers automatically assume I am a college student that is looking to go to the local elitest campus. Apparently that is because...

“You look like you are 14!”
As the director of Posco Education Foundation laughingly informed me upon seeing my picture.
Personally, I really think 14 is pushing it, but after seeing some of the college students, I can see why the taxi drivers might assume I belong on campus. They do look really old.

“Teacher, every day is special clothes!”
As opposed to the typical jeans-wearing foreigner, my penchant for skirts - particularly LONG skirts - is infamous. Frankly I can count the number of times I've worn pants while I'm here on one hand and have fingers left over. And those times were only because all my skirts were in the laundry basket.
Some things never change.

“Teacher, you dress like a girl!”
That goes without saying but in this case their meaning was as in a school student girl. Between the swirly layered skirts and pigtail braids, I can see where that comment might arise from.

“How old are you?”
“34”
“No, you're not!”
" ... "
Up to this point, I've gotten plenty of disbelieving looks upon revealing my age, but this is the second time I've been outright countered.

And the best one to date...

Sophmore girls class:
“She needs to go home.”
Followed by a paniced, flustered waving of hands. Apparently in order to get the brain gears moving.
“Why?”
The frustrated internal struggle for words was clearly stamped on her face.
“Bleeding!”
“Where!?!?”
The radar switches on and I look all over. I have NEVER seen as many nosebleeds as I have with Korean children. I'm pretty sure it has to do with the physical structure of the nose in the mongoloid race.
“No. No. One month blood.... Monthly blood.”

ohhh.
I have to say I thought this was a very ingenious way to get the idea across when they did not have the actual word for it nor any experience in explaining it in English before. All the previous teachers that they encountered were male and hell would surely freeze over first before they mentioned something like this to one of them.

It should be noted that the next time this event occurred, they were able to explain it clearly and precisely. Someone had consulted the native Korean-English teacher for the right word.



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the NICE-teacher

That's me.

Why, you wonder?

Why am I the choosen nice-teacher?

What great thing did I do to inspire young minds to greater effort?!?

I let them sleep.

And, it only took me eight working days to institute this rule.

Seriously. You finish the assignment – go to sleep.

PLEASE.

At first it was met with mystified expressions and tenative hopeful questionings - “Really?? We can sleep?“

„Yes, sleep!“ {And BE QUIET for *$%$&@#$ - sake.}

Before you stick up your noses and tut-tut me for my lackness, consider this:

☆~The reality is that these are elementary students to tenth graders that have been in school since 8 AM in the morning. It is now 4 or 6 or 8 PM {My latest class is 8-9:15, but that is NOT necessarily the last class for THEM.}

☆~There is no dinner time for these growing weeds bearing the heavy burdens of the future. They keep going on sugar and snakes like the rest of us here.

☆~English academy – unlike what one teacher told me – really IS just like Japanese after school lessons. No one is there because they want to be but because EVERYONE else is. {I had no idea the Koreans shared the whole group-mentality like the Japanese.} Why should I make them anymore miserable then they already are?

And, frankly, I'm just not getting paid enough to create anymore work for me or them.

So if they do their work they can have their blessed sleep – heaven knows none of us are getting enough of it in the first place. This also allows me to help the slower students in relative quiet which I could NEVER do before as the early finishers were too antsy just sitting there.

They rest. My ears rest.

Peace is maintained and another day passes without someone being reduced to tears for being sent to detention for irritating the hell out of me.

„You are nice teacher!“

Damn straight I am.

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SNAKES ON THE LOOSE!!!

It goes without saying, no pets in class. Please, people.

I walk into my rowdy, overcrowded {“never more then ten students per class” so why do I count fifteen?} but not unpleasant mid-day class today only to have “Di” jump up and proclaim loudly that “Ray” has snakes!

“Snakes?” I feel my eyes bugle.

“Yes, snakes! Snakes!” “Di” pronounces with that giddy, unhinged excitement only tattletales can manage to exude.

The first thought in my head was "You have got to be sh^%#ng me. Someone brought their pet snake to class?!?"
On the heels of that came a rushed apologetic thought - "Not that I have anything against snakes. I like snakes. I have a tendency towards fondness for long slinky things with sharp teeth – sharks, ferrets, snakes. Ferrets."

Inwardly I felt myself rolling my eyes as I approached the podeum.
I scanned the floor as "Ray" and "Di" and frankly most of the class behaved like a scene out of danse macabre.

"Di" points again. More directly this time at "Ray's" bag – "Snake! Snake!"

In the bag – nothing moving.
Bag – cleared.

On the floor...
...
"Snack?!? You mean snack?!”
I peer in disbelief at the long curly fry on the floor NEXT to the bag.
"That's a snack. Snake is animal."

Draw snake on board.
SNAKE.
Point to floor.
SNACK.

Order, or what passes for it here, returned to class as students took their seats when the bell rang.

And for the rest of the class, the nice-teacher turned a blind eye to the occassional yet repeated consumption of the hapless snakes.


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oh, yes. another nasty school crawls out from under the rocks

So Korea it is!

But before that, here's another company to avoid in Japan while your out hunting - tis the season and all.

RCS Corporation Recruiting

Not only are the benefits ATROCIOUS - frankly I told my friends in Japan the only benefit was it being IN Japan - but apparently they are not interested in qualified applicants. Just so much... work... to schedule... interview... *pass out*

Seriously, they were all high-ho to interview me, but way behind the ball. To make a short story even shorter, I received this message:
Thank you for your email. I have scheduled your telephone interview for Tuesday, February 10th at 10am JST.
Please confirm your interview time.
Vanessa Oguchi HR

SEVERAL HOURS AFTER I had already scheduled an interview with another company that had been in constant email contact with me even throughout the weekend. Like I said, take your time people. Don't want to break a sweat or anything.

Anyway, I sent them a duly apologetic reply, finishing up with a 元気いっぱい:
Terribly sorry for the inconvenience. If another day or time works better for you, please do let me know. I am sure we can work something out!

To which I received a completely そっけない response:
Thank you for your email. Unfortunately, Wednesday is a national holiday so our office is not open.
Kind regards,
Vanessa Oguchi HR

うわ～今時のRecruiterは頑張るよね～。（爆笑） Seriously that was the extent of it. Again, don't want to overextend ourselves here. ^o^

Oh, and if their attitude does not make you wary, check out their benefits. I've clipped some below from the info sheet they sent me. If you have never taught in Korea or Japan before, let me say again, they are the WORST I have ever seen.

-Basic salary: \100,000/month (this figure already includes travel expenses)
- Location allowance: \130,000/month
- Attendance Bonus: \10,000/month
- 3 days possible sick leave

And scarier, there's summer (August) and winter (December) vacation to consider. Vacation, YAY? No, Vacation NO PAY:

OPTION A: Aug & Dec paid at 60%
OPTION B: All months paid at 100% except Aug

Then there's this charming little added expenditure which I have NEVER had to pay before:

Car fee: \20,000/month
Accommodation:
We will assist you in finding accommodation within your budget. Please note for most apartments there may be considerable initial outlay.

And yes, renting an apartment in Japan does have "considerable outlay".
What is there left to say? Someone is making money here but it's definitely not you.
Basically, you are completely on your own with this company. Good luck and all. :D

Anyway, from my end, cheers and be back with more info on Korea in the future! (^_-)-☆


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BAD English Schools in Japan - MSE

I can't seem to find a single Forum Board *yet* that comprehensively addresses this topic so I've decided to start a series here.

In this series I will introduce the places you absolutely want to avoid if you are looking to teach English in Japan.

In this first installment, allow me to introduce the school I am currently at, MSE, Mizusawa School of English in Iwate prefecture. They apparently post in several places like ESL Elite, but they normally post here and this is were I originally found them.

One phrase: SEXUAL HARASSMENT.
And we're not just talking the verbal kind. I've put up with plenty of pornographic comments working at MSE without complaint. Nope, we're talking the touchy-feely, skin-crawling kind of sexual harassment.

Apparently no one bothered to tell them this was a place of learning, not a hostess bar.

If that is not enough to turn you off, how about CHRISTIAN MISSIONARY WORK?
I was not aware they were missionaries until I started working. It is fine to have faith I think; but NOT when it is an unspoken part of the school curriculum. And she will try to convert the students, oh so subtly. The younger ones are rather blind to it, but the adults aren't. Each and every one asked me, "When you leave, who will teach?" When I responded, "Mrs. Mine", not one of them looked the least bit happy about it.

Still not convinced?
How about "forced labor"?
I was deathly sick for one week, but because I wasn't allowed to stay home, it dragged on for weeks. That was in March. I'm still seeing doctors for treatment ALL AT MY EXPENSE 4 months later.

Shall we try unannounced "pay cuts"?
Fine. Go ahead and cut my pay, but do NOT wait to tell me you have done it after a whole month has past!! An upfront and honest employer would tell you beforehand, not four weeks and 100000 later.

Seriously people, MSE - avoid this place like the plague.



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